so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize