brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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