She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
