eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Randomize
