I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
