OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
