He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
