Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
My pussy is not your playground.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
