A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
We don't watch enough power rangers
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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