He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
