Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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