Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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