my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
my poor anus
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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