And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
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