nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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