I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
