i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
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