This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
