He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
