He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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