I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
