So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
