i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
