if i can run in heels then i can drive
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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