if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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