I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize