if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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