I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
