FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
