They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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