maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
