maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
COCAINE IS GR8
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
