dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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