i just wanna soil my oats bro
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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