I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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