I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
