I smell stomach acid.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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