I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
