I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
