You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Enjoy the penises
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize