party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
that's an acceptable place to lick
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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