Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
