drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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