Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize