I wannas sexs uuuuu
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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