i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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