hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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