just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
