He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
