pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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