who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
