This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize
