Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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