that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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