i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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