Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
