Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
